Recently, I made a audition video for an internet show called The Big Trip. Have a look at it:
In addition to the video the producers want to know the answers to a number of questions about me. I’ll not bore you with all of them but here are a few.
What destinations would you like to visit in the United States of America?
Ooh tons, but here’s a few:
The Creation Science Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky: It looks like an absolute hoot. They even have Dinosaurs the kids can sit on and pretend to ride like “Adam and Eve did”. Mostly I find the silliness charming, and I’d love to talk to people there, not to make fun of them but because they have an interesting world view; it’s a view that I don’t share but one that I find fascinating.
The Winchester House in San Jose California: Built by a frankly crazy old lady based on architectural plans revealed at séances, the place looks simply fantastic. I would actually like to hold a séance in the Blue Room (the room in which the architectural plan making séances were held), you know, for old time’s sake.
Washington DC: As a newly minted citizen I think I should visit the nation’s capital. I can have my Congressman show me around the House and Senate, potter about the various museums within the Smithsonian (I have a subscription to the museums magazine; it’s always a fun and interesting read), take in all the monuments and tour the various political scandal sites including the newly, by the end of 2009, refurbished Watergate hotel. It’s aiming to be the “most luxurious hotel in Washington,” which presumably means all sorts of services not offered by other hotels in the city. I’m not sure, but I think if you lose your key, G. Gordon Liddy will be on call to break into your room for you.
Sad Vegas Nevada: Yes I meant that. All the shows about Vegas focus on the most glitzy and glamorous bits of the town. I’m interested in the bits off the main strip, the casinos where you can play “catch a falling star” and the bits that are nice to visit if non-stop gambling and shows aren’t your thing (Vegas is actually more than the showbiz and slot machines; it’d be nice to look at that a bit more)
The Trinity Site in White Sands New Mexico: One of the most important sites in the U.S. and of the 20th century. This was where the first nuclear device was set off by J. Robert Oppenheimer in 1945; thirty years later it was declared a National Historic monument (so it has been that way for about the same amount of time that I’ve been walking the earth). It’s also only open twice a year, making it a pretty cool thing to have been able to say you’ve visited.
Some wine regions other than those in California:
Everyone knows about the wine grown in Cali, but it grows and is made all over the United States:
- Rocky Mountain Region – Notably Idaho and Colorado
- Southwestern United States – Notably Texas and New Mexico
- Midwestern United States – Notably Missouri, Illinois and Minnesota
- Great Lakes region – Notably Michigan, northern New York and Ohio
- East Coast of the United States – Notably New Jersey, New York State, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and North Carolina
It would be great to visit a few of these places and talk about their vineyards.
Sitka Alaska, or, in fact, anywhere in Alaska:
It would be fun to try Dog Sledding, and I have to think Alaska is great for all sorts of outdoorsy pursuits.
The Dan Quayle Vice-Presidential Library/Museum in Huntington Indiana: To be fair, this library is about more than the man who cannot spell potato correctly in public. I love the fact that of all the Veeps, he is the only one with a Vice Presidential Library. It’s just precious.
Lancaster County Pennsylvania: When I first visited Niagara Falls, I was surprised to see a group of Amish kids playing Time Crisis (it might have been House of the Dead come to think of it; at any rate, one of those games where you stand in front of a big screen and shoot everything coming at you). Electricity is mostly verboten for the Amish, let alone shoot-the-zombies-with-a-light-gun games. At that point I’d never heard of rumspringa, which is the Amish term for adolescence (and literally means “running around”). During rumspringa the Amish kids will act in ways not Amish (such as driving cars or wearing modern clothes or drinking or shooting video game zombies).
Some of the kids head out of their communities to do this, but most stay around the family farms. This brings me to Lancaster County, which can fairly claim to be the heart of the Amish world. In addition to the normal Amish delights (apple butter, horse buggies, hand- made furniture, providing room and board for Harrison Ford, that sort of thing) it would be fun to hang out with a few of the kids on rumspringa to see how they are finding the world of the “English”.
What famous person reminds you of yourself and why?
Hmm. I found this one a little banjaxing. So I asked the people who post on the Rifftrax forum what they thought. Here’s what they had to say:
Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck: Stephen Fry – because of your encyclopedic knowledge and endless curiosity and your wit.
Bettertomorrowamy: Kelsey Grammar
A friend of mine (from my neck of the woods, as opposed to friends around the country and world who post on that internet forum) told me that I remind her of Sean Bean when he was in Goldeneye.
So putting that together, that makes me a brawny, intellectually curious patrician with a soupcon of salt of the earth working class charm to make things tasty plus an interesting voice. Not too bad an assessment I suppose
What countries have you visited and for how long?
In alphabetical order:
- Canada – Off and on for about thirteen years
- England – Most of my life until I was twenty-six
- France – A couple of times for about a week each time
- Ireland – For about two and a half years
- Norway – for the last quarter of 1997
- USA – Every summer since 1996, permanently since 2002
- Wales – A bunch of times while I was living in England
In which other cities or countries have you lived and for what period of time.
In chronological order
- Cork in Ireland for the first two and a half years of my life
- Plymouth in the West Country of England until I was 8
- Stratford-upon-Avon in the Midlands of England from the age of eight until I immigrated to the U.S. in 2002
- During that time I lived in Bergen Norway for the last four months of 1997 while taking part in a student exchange program. After moving to the U.S. I lived briefly in Sterling Heights Michigan before moving north a little to where I currently reside in Clinton Township Michigan.
What most scares you about traveling?
Nothing whatsoever. Traveling gives you experiences you might otherwise never have. What’s scary about that?
What most excites you about traveling?
Everything. Maybe it’s the Romany ancestry, but I love traveling. I even enjoy airports (some more than others, but they all try to be interesting these days don’t they?).
Are there any places in the world you will absolutely not travel to? Identify and explain why
On general principal there really isn’t anywhere, though obviously there are places that the U.S. foreign office tells people not to go to for their own good. For years growing up, I wanted to visit Afghanistan; it was pivotal in The Great Game and had many irreplaceable cultural treasures beneath its troubles.
My father worked in the oil business and would spend many months in Iraq and Iran (and many other places in the Middle East and Africa) and so I always wanted to visit there as well.
As you can imagine none of those three locations would be ideal destinations right at the moment, but I’d still like to visit them one of these days. In much the same way, if ever the travel embargo is lifted on Cuba, I will definitely be taking a visit.
What country and place would you like to visit and why?
Again, there are lots but here are a few broken down by continent:
Europe
The Wieliczka Salt Mine just outside of Krakow Poland: Wieliczka is interesting, not because it’s a mine (though they can be interesting) but because of what the miners did when not hewing salt out of the earth. They took it upon themselves to carve an underground city out of the excavated chambers. There is a cathedral and a ballroom as well as other smaller rooms and many, many sculptures, all made out of rock salt. According to an article I read recently the mine might be able to cure asthma, so some of those people would be interesting to talk to (both the patients and the doctors).
The Alt Wiener Schnapsmuseum in Vienna Austria: Mata Hari Absinthe is made there. Absinthe is the classic case of something undone by its reputation rather than its actual qualities. However now the stuff is legal again (but with the sort of coolness that only being illegal for decades can bring), and Mata Hari is one of the oldest recipes still in existence. Even better, it’s all natural, which makes it stand out amongst a glut of artificially coloured products. I think it would be cool to see the drink produced and then sample some.
The Yusupov Palace in St Petersburg Russia: What is the connection between those little disclaimers at the end of movies stating “The preceding was a work of fiction, etc.,” and the assassination of Grigori Rasputin? The answer is Prince Felix Felixovich Yusupov, the man who led the assassination of the Tsaritza’s favorite holy man/faith healer. Yusupov sued MGM over their portrayal of his wife in the film Rasputin and the Empress, leading to all films having that disclaimer. Yusupov was from possibly the richest family in all of Russia (richer than that of the Tsar even; they used to have bowls of jewels lying around so that people could run their hands through them for fun) and quite a pretty boy (so pretty in fact that Edward VII of Britain once mistook him for a girl and tried to arrange an assignation with him). The palace, unsurprisingly, is incredibly pretty and opulently, even decadently, decorated. If you ask nicely, they’ll let you visit the basement where the deed took place, which apparently contains a wax work diorama featuring Felix and Grigori and all of Felix’s coconspirators. That would potentially be fun to see.
The Palazzo Grassi Museum of Modern Art in Venice Italy:
Venice has an abundance of great art museums, but the most recent one to open is the one devoted to modern art that is housed in the former palace of the extremely wealthy but ill- fated Grassi family. It would be nice to look at new works of art in a city so associated with older, undeniably brilliant works. I have a friend who lives in Venice (as of yet she’s not visited this museum but says it looks “tres grand” after being an empty shell for so long), and she extended an open invitation to come drink wine while watching the sun set over the city. So that would be nice, too.
Asia
Tubbataha Reef Marine Park in the Philippines: When people think of coral reefs, they often think of the Great Barrier Reef off the east coast of Australia but, of course, coral isn’t confined to that one place. Another spectacular collection of coral and the life that inhabits the coral reefs can be found off the western coast of the Philippines. The family of a friend owns a farm on Cebu Island, just to the east of the reef, so I could see some farming and then toddle out to the reef to visit with the various species of sharks, eels, and turtles that make their home there.
The Cao Dai Holy See near Sài Gòn, Viet Nam: It might become apparent, when reading some of my notes, that religion and other expressions of human belief are endlessly interesting to me. Because of this I would love to visit the home of one of the world’s newer religions (it began in the 1920s) that essentially reflects all of the cultural influences Viet Nam has experienced for the last seven centuries or so. Do you want to find Jesus and Buddha hanging out with Lao-Tze? Or see Christian saints in the lotus position? Then the Cao Dai Holy See is the place for you. Since I can answer yes to both of those then I absolutely want to visit the place. Since I’d be a couple of hours from the cultural capital of the county that would be a great place to visit once the delights of Cao Dai had grown old.
Agra Fort, Agra, India: So your grandfather’s father was the greatest ruler of your dynasty and your dad is acting a touch loopy in his old age. What’s a Mughal ruler to do? Well Aurangzeb decided to shut up his father in the Agra Fort for the last eight years of his life. Things weren’t too bad, however, since Shah Jahan had spent a few tons of gold making the place look nice as had most of the rulers before him, Mughal or otherwise. The Agra Fort is one of the most beautiful collections of buildings in the world, reflecting as it does the ascetic tastes of all of those rulers. However, it’s less well known than another of Shah Jahan’s building projects, the Taj Mahal, where Jahan would end up eight years after being confined to the fort by Aurangzeb.
The Petronas Twin Towers, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: When I go to the gym I sometimes use a stair climber machine and, to make things more interesting, I try to climb the same number of steps as can be found in various tall buildings. My favourite one is the Pertonas Tower. I can climb to the top in about 15 minutes. I’d like to see how long it takes me in the real building. Once I’ve reached the top I’ll be able to look out over the whole of Kuala Lumpur
Australasia
Uluru, also known as Ayers Rock: Uluru is a massive formation of sandstone almost slap bang in the middle of Australia. It’s both a natural wonder and, as a key spiritual site for the Pitjantjatjara and Yankunytjatjara peoples, an important cultural destination. Like the volcanoes in Hawaii, its stones are apparently cursed and cannot be taken away, which adds a hint of magical fun to any trip there.
Coober Pedy: A different mineral is mined here, but it has some things in common with Wieliczka in that the miners have carved out habitation and other spaces under the ground for themselves. I want to see some of the houses and the chapels and the like. It would probably be fun to take the Mail Run Tour, which would show a great deal of the surrounding area and places of interest. I’d also like to try my hand, or rather foot, at noodling for opals. You never know; I might find a black one.
The Tasmanian Devil Sanctuary in Cradle Mountain Tasmania: There are many wild animals that I really like and many of them I have actually seen either in their natural habitat or in zoos. However, one that I have never seen aside from in nature documentaries (and the weird thing seen in Loony Tunes cartoons) is the Tasmanian Devil. The Tasmanian Devil is one of the last few carnivorous marsupials left in the world (the world’s most powerful carnivorous beastie was a marsupial “lion” that is now extinct). The Tazie is a deceptively cute looking little critter that possesses the strongest bite of any living creature, relative to size, and an unearthly cry that is the origin of its name. Hearing the weird snorting scream out in the forests of Tasmania, early European settlers thought they were hearing some sort of demon.
Sadly the little monster is suffering from a loss of habitat and a tumor-causing disease that might mean it will one day be gone. Places like the sanctuary in Cradle Mountain (itself an outstanding nature park) are attempting to prevent the extinction. They are breeding the Devils and providing education about them to visitors. I’d love to be one of those visitors; I want to hear that startling call in person and not just on TV.
I’d like to take a walk along the Milford Track, which stretches from Lake Te Anau to Milford Sound in New Zealand . A kiwi friend of mine has walked this when he was younger and tells me it is phenomenal. He also said that when he walked it he rushed it a bit and would like to walk it again now that he’s older and able to appreciate the natural grandeur a little more. Taking a look at pictures of parts of the trail I can’t help but agree with the assessment that the track is “the finest walk in the world” and NZ intends to keep it that way by limiting both the number of people who walk the track each year and the direction in which they walk it. I’d love to be one of those selected walkers.
Africa
The Blue Train running from Pretoria to Cape Town and back again: Ah, but your Land is Beautiful is the title of a book by Alan Paton (who also wrote Cry The Beloved Country), and it takes its title from the fact that people would often say to him, after discussing the troubles South Africa faced. That despite all the troubles the land was beautiful. And, truly, that remains the case. Despite the turmoil that South Africa has gone through the land has always been incredibly gorgeous. One of the best ways to see a great deal of beautiful countryside is to see it from a train. The Blue Train runs a number of routes, but the one from the capital to the coast would provide a wonderful cross section of the spectacular scenery.
I’d not mind climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. It’s the highest peak in the continent, and a few friends have climbed it. The cool thing about it is that, as long as your fitness is pretty good, you can essentially just take a hike up to the top. I think it’s accurate to describe that as ace.
My father loved North Africa and one of the places that would be great to visit in that region would be Marrakesh in Morocco, where there are walled gardens and ancient mosques and cool little souqs where all sorts of articles can be bought.
As you might have gathered from my inclusion of the Tasmania Devil sanctuary, I love places that try to preserve indigenous wild life. Another such place that I’d like to visit is the Tampolo Forest Reserve in Madagascar; they are mostly a research facility but I’d like to visit and watch the lemurs doing their lemur type things.
America (North)
Now obviously I’ve already listed places in the U.S. that I’d like to visit, but the U.S. is only part of North America.
The Chichen Itza Pyramids in Yucatan Mexico: I want to go there on a specific date: December 21st 2012, not because I think the world will end on that date, but because a bunch of people seem to, based on prophecies from the people who built Chichen Itza, and will be gathering there to await what happens next. I have to think that it’ll be like some vast doom tinged version of the Burning Man festival, which will just have to be seen to be believed. Even more interesting will be the morning of December 22nd 2012.
Lake Okanagan, British Columbia Canada: Scotland isn’t the only country with a large body of water that is believed to contain a serpentine beastie. Canada’s lake with a monster is Lake Okanagan, and the name of its monster is Ogo Pogo. Okanagan shares another similarity with Loch Ness in being really very beautiful. If I didn’t spot the lake monster I could at least view the gorgeous scenery.
National History Park – Citadel, Sans-Souci, Ramiers, Haiti: Henri Christophe was one of the leaders of the Slave rebellion on Haiti (the only successful rebellion of its kind). Once the French had been kicked off the island the real fun of a revolution came, in fighting and factionalization. And so, Henri Christophe found himself as President of the breakaway (and fairly short lived) State of Haiti. A little while later he declared himself King Henri I and ordered a palace built. Concerned that the French would return and wreak havoc on his fledgling nation (something nobody worries about the French doing these days), King Henri added a massive amount of fortifications to the palace. As I mentioned, the State of Haiti wasn’t all that long lived and so the Palace and all of it’s battlements soon became the property of the Republic of Haiti and is seen as a symbol of the desire for Liberty in the human spirit. While I think it does provide that symbolism I think it could also be seen as symbolizing some other things about the human spirit…
Prickley Pear Cays, Anguilla, Leeward Islands: You will have probably gathered that, when traveling, I like to visit places of some specific interest, however, from time to time I’m not completely against just relaxing on a beautiful beach and chilling out for a couple of hours. Prickly Pear Cay has a spectacular beach surrounded by almost impassable rocks making it both beautiful and isolated; in other words, the perfect sport to relax in. Should the beach prove boring after a while, I can always venture out onto those rocks to do a bit of bird watching.
America (South)
The Panama Canal: A nice way to say hello to the other America and a sterling achievement in engineering. Had the last election gone differently, I could add “Birthplace of the President” to the list of interesting things about the Canal. As it is, the engineering feat and the fact it’s essentially the gateway to South America make the Panama Canal worth a visit.
I really enjoy Tango and would love to attend the Congreso Internacional de Tango Argentino, which takes place in Buenos Aires, Argentina every year in the middle of March. I’m not the greatest dancer ever but there’s no better place to learn and to watch the truly phenomenal dancers provide examples of exactly what I should be aiming for.
The Galapagos Islands:
One of the most important places for those interested in science and especially biology. Windswept and isolated, the islands made the perfect place for Darwin to formulate, contemplate, and test his theories. It would make a great counterpoint to the Creation Museum. Plus, giant tortoises and vampire finches!!!!
Tierra del fuego: Excitingly named The Land of Fire, this is actually one of the coldest places on earth. The fires were in such abundance because without them people would have frozen to death. Still, I suppose Land of Wretched Frigidity doesn’t sound all that sexy when you want to encourage people to come live there. Thankfully we now have modern heating techniques so the place is marginally less bitterly cold or at least it’s easier to endure the bitter cold. And now that we can do that we can do some fun wintry pursuits like dog sledding. Or, if the place seems just that little too sultry we can hop on a boat to…
Antarctica
Yes you can actually visit Antarctica without being a scientist or maker of documentaries about penguins. I could talk about visiting the preserved base camp of Ernest Shackleton or viewing (from a safe distance) the gatherings of penguins, but to be honest, I would just be glad to say I stepped onto the shore in Antarctica.
Do you get sea or car sick? Please state which.
I don’t get car, plane, train, sea or pogo stick sick
Name three of your favorite hobbies.
I love to go biking; riding my bike is both fun and good for me physically and, really, aren’t those two qualities that we should look for in a pastime? My bike isn’t the most expensive ever but she does the job admirably and I often use her for little errands if I have the time and the distance I need to go isn’t too far (within about a ten mile radius).
I’m a fairly decent cook; as long as it doesn’t focus on eggs (so omelets and scrambles are right out) I can make it and it will be delicious. I love reading recipes and discovering new ingredients. One of my favorite things to do is include Asian ingredient in recipes from the southern United States. I like to think of the resulting dishes as “Crasian”: Creole + Asian.
I love to make things; I was going to say “I love to sculpt” but really what I like to do best of all are more like three dimensional collages. They’re sculptures technically but they tend to be made of other things. When it’s warm out I generally carry a canvas bag that I decorated with various little found objects and beads. It’s a rare trip out with that bag that somebody doesn’t tell me how cool it is.
Do you have any phobias?
Not any more. I used to be a little scared of dogs, however, many years of owning a crazy little spaniel means I don’t fear any breed, except maybe Perro de Presa Canario but I don’t think you need to have a phobia to find those a little worrying.
Phobias are obviously irrational and the great thing about being human is that we are capable of recognizing the irrational and not giving in to it. I love dogs and if I was ever going to have one as a pet I needed to get over the fear reaction. And so I did.It’s really not that difficult if you put your mind to it.
List three (3) adjectives that best describe you.
- Clever
- Eccentric
- Curious
Have you ever been on television? If so, when and what shows?
Not that I’m aware of, although I have spoken on a few radio programs from time to time.
Have you ever appeared in a publicly released film or video of any sort? If so, when and what film(s) or video(s)?
Well I’ve been filmed a few times but I’m not sure if any have yet been released. I have provided voiceovers for InZer0: Fragile Wings, and I was recently an extra on Little Murder.
What sports, hobbies or special skills do you have?
I used to play the following sports
- Rugby
- Cricket
- Field Hockey
- Soccer
I would like to play
- Aussie Rules Football
- Gaelic Football
But I have difficulty finding teams in my area (which is also why the first three are listed as “used to play”). I really enjoy playing games, and I’d be willing to try out any sport.
I love bicycling and sculpture. I’m a great cook, I write poetry from time to time, I used to be a pretty good fencer, and I have a huge depth and breadth of general knowledge.
Have you ever kept a blog before?
Oh yes and please, feel free to ask me a question. I love answering peoples questions.
Plus, I’m very active on Facebook
How did you hear about us?
I read the notice you placed on craigslist.
Is there anything else about yourself you would like us to know?
By the time we start recording I’ll have been a U.S. citizen for under a year (I was sworn in a couple of weeks ago). I think it would be interesting to explore the country as a new citizen of the United States, discovering things that my fellow citizens might also not have been aware was there to be discovered.
I’ve found that being genuinely interested and friendly has helped me out a great deal. I can get along with pretty much anyone and have done for as long as I can remember.
